This is something I feel very strongly about....my apartment. I really would like to kick the architect of my building in the face. I do not know why he thought it would be a good idea to use painted card stock for the walls to sperate apartments. I can hear everything everyone does. My neighbors to left were somewhat annoying with their constant high-pitched singing and noise making (they are guys). One day they were especially annoying when they challenged each other to the same Muse song over and over on Guitar Hero for two hours and exclaimed "Beat that Bitch" after every turn. From my bedroom I can hear their full conversations.
Guy 1: "Man my back hurts"
Guy 2: "Man that sucks"
Guy 1: "Will you walk on it?"
Guy 2: "Really?"
Guy 1: "Yeah"
Guy 2: "Okay, ready?"
Guy 1: "oooohhh, yeeahhh, grrrr, ah it feels sooooo good"

Needless to say, I was not amused at 2:30 in the morning. But now catastrophe has struck, one of them has a girlfriend, and not just any girlfriend, one with the most annoying voice you will ever hear, she sounds like the Nanny and nails scratching a chalkboard. They constantly are wrestling? It sounds like shes choking, spitting, and gargling. My roommate Maria (who is awesome and beautiful) said she heard them stay "Bye" back and forth for ten minutes. They have sex for about five to ten minutes where she becomes a screaming, moaning pornstar and always comes, which is highly unlikely, and all I can imagine is their twisting and flailing pale bodies and I throw up a lil in my mouth...

I'm just gonna get this thing rolling. My best friend Sarah (Unbreakable) told me to get a blog, because she wanted to comment on it. Although I know she will be the only one to read it, this is for you homie...keep it real.

Warning: I swear alot..I am part Austrian, part lover of "American Swears."


Well Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while, because I have started to resent my ass. This is always an awkward time in a chubby girls life. Upon entering the gym I automatically see everyone staring at me (or so I think). So I take my place on the bike for my warmup. Shortly after starting, my ipod's battery quits and I am forced to be the creepy girl, without an ipod who stares at eveyone else, and I CANT STOP MYSELF. So I look to my right and the girl next to me is completely coved with pimples, even her legs, and I want to say "damn girl, cover that shit up," but I refrain. I look to my left, girl with a beard chugs along steadily. Chewbacca has boosted my self-esteem and forr just one moment I feel pretty awesome about myself, fuck it I am hot. No sooner do these words cross my mind, my head continues to swivel about like Jessica Simpson, and there she is "the model" who is currently staring at my fat ass, burning it with her demon-model eyes, and I swear I can hear her mumbling "thank god for my ass, thank god for my face." It is now time to get off this damn machine, and like any other awkward gym-goer, I once again feel that everyone is staring at me, so I drop the bottle of cleaner. DAMN IT, eveyone saw, I'm a loser. So I quickly pick it up, keepin it cool, and go to return it to its proper place...This time I drop it in the garbage, THUMP, now everyone IS looking while I fish it out...Fuckity Fuck. So I then decide to go on the cross trainer that faces the ponds, so I don't stare at anyone. Today the upper pond that flows into the lower pond has thrown up into the other, even the fourteen ducks (that I counted) won't swim in the lower pond. The girl that is now to my right, is extremely unattractive and is reading an article in Cosmo titled "How to Get Him to Go There" with a girls squirming on the pages, I vomit a lil bit in my mouth, which makes shivers run down my spine. Girl to my left has a PINK waterbottle that says running down the side, "Take a Sip, Aren't You Thirsty, Keep Hydrated, Good for You!, Drink Up, Baby!, and finally, Mission Accomplished." And I know she bought it cause she thinks its totally cool, too bad bitch it's not. She makes me feel better about myself, Oh I'll be back tomorrow.